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I broke my collar bone in my kitchen when I was 3 or so.

Hating hospitals since ‘89!

Just a few notes.

iPhone, wireless internet, Netflix, sunshine, strawberry margaritas, Roseanne, red wine, Facetime, blue cheese, Vans.

Keeping me going in twenty eleven.

Bitter and Better

I broke up with a dude in April. Shortly after, I started seeing a mutual friend. Now we live together and he makes me happier than anyone ever has. So I’m over said ex, for the most part. The part that I’m not over (and yes, this post will mostly be for ranting), is the trail of debris that the end of that relationship has wrought. People whom I used to know and love are no longer in my life. Friends I thought I had connections with, apparently never cared. My life is mine and it would be foolish to expect (or especially ask) that the ex be banned from my social circle. I hate him but that doesn’t mean that everyone should (although they should).

I may sound petty but it’s almost Christmas and evidently I still don’t have closure. I have to miss out on things because he’s involved and I don’t think it’s fair. He may be of the heartbroken camp but, get over it. Hold your tongue and grow the fuck up.

If this keeps up, I’m going to burn his house down. (Its a gentle rage.)

Oh, Merry Christmas.

Ain’t nobody dope as me

If you would have asked me when I was 16 if spending a Monday afternoon cleaning my entire house (camode included), would give me pure, unadulterated joy…I would have been both terrified and disgusted. However, I really liked Good Charlotte when I was 16 so now it’s all relative. My hands still smell like Lysol with bleach and I couldn’t be more proud of myself.

Its odd being so conscious of my own growing up as its happening. I’ve lived in my house for 3 years now. Its paid for (it’s also 800 square feet), and its not exactly what I had in mind when I moved outta my folks but its cozy. The dartboard is cool. I suppose my mindset thus far has been, I will graduate from school, and I will leave. Well that time has come and gone and I’m still here with a hand-me-down couch that’s broken and no curtains to speak of.

Hank, my boyfriend, and I are in it to win it, so to speak. He is gradually moving in with me. We both work constantly so my house has become more of a place to eat fast food and crash before beginning the grind of tomorrow. And it doesn’t have to be. Our “do shit” box is in it’s beginning stages (a shoebox we blindly put extra money into when we think about it). We cleaned our asses off yesterday. I hung up some of his art and put his shoes in my closet. It’s getting pretty real.

We even have a key hook/bill holder thing hanging up. Shit’s happening.

I’ve been a depressed young lady for some time. This due to an unhappy relationship and therefore lot in life. The worst is in the winter. Normally, I’d be trembling with anticipation of the annual bout of blues. However, my life now is severely different and I’m waiting (impatiently) for the snow to come.

The smaller things are making me happy nowadays. Never woulda thought.

Next time, winter projects.

Every turn a surprise

September! Fuck. Actually, I’m grateful. It was about 100 degrees every day this summer, putting limits on the amount of outdoor fun one can possibly have without a sprinkler on in their front yard. Normally, summer is the season of all seasons. At least for me. But something happened this year. Perhaps living with the boy that last summer wooed me changed things. No longer barflies, it’s difficult to keep entertained. Neither of us have any creativity (or gumption). I’m actually looking forward to winter. I think just so I don’t feel guilty for being on the couch all night every night. And, the scarves of course.

I have recently downloaded the entire The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, and Alladin soundtracks. So. Good.

A weird week

Both of my ex boyfriends moved out of the state.

I am all about this.

My home is my sanctuary

Winter time and I’m still happy. This is very unlike me.

Here is what Hank and I have accomplished in the last month…

Christmas tree. A real one. With ornaments and lights and a crazy looking Santa that sparkles up on top. I haven’t had a tree since I moved out of my folks’. Its pretty serious. There are no presents underneath yet but, that’s a minor detail. Amazon.com, don’t let me down.

Surround sound. Yep. We’re grown ups with grown up electronics! Independence Day never sounded so REALISTIC. P.S. Double sided tape? Not one of a few of my favorite things.

Bookcase. Big Lots really came through for us. An hour and 45 nails later, its a beautiful example of 21st century furniture. And it keeps the comic books away from the cat. BONUS : Hank has square shelves of different sizes to hang up too. So the house is gradually looking flyer and flyer.

We are trying to save money but days like Sunday are what will eventually kill us. It snowed like a sonofabitch and at first it was thrilling. Being snowed in, house full of hot cocoa and television. But at about 1:30ish, we both started to lose our minds. Christmas made me broke as a joke and its another week until payday. This living hand-to-mouth  isn’t as romantic as I thought.

Boardgames and wine will save me.

Seriously?

A friend from high school moved to Brooklyn with his girlfriend. She’s an actress. I just read his blog and came to a depressing realization…I’m fucking dull.

My day includes waking up, puttering around for a couple hours, smoke 13 cigarettes, shower, and drive to work. I make ok money. Not enough to save but enough to live on. This isn’t dire. I have a boyfriend. One whom I care about enough to say “love” to. Its alright, actually. Its beginning to become a little too comfortable. Most nights we swallow pain killers and watch movies. The public library is a very underrated resource, if you ask me. All the free movies I want.

My job is alright. I planned on continuing school but, after 5 years and a 2 year degree, I was over it. Now I’m bored all day long. I never considered sticking around after I was done. I guess I didn’t really make any long term goals either. School, work, booze, repeat.I can sure say I had lots and LOTS of fun. But now I’m getting older and the same things aren’t keeping me fascinated.

I have two friends in New York. Both of which always had beautiful minds and good hearts. They both have ladies in their life and it seems they’re truly happy. 

Maybe I’ll write in here more. I’m sick of this shit.